This is another TMI one which is kind of gross but not THAT bad... it's not sexual this time... well, not entirely.

See, I have HPV. Which I say as sort of a joke, because I don't have genital warts or anything like that (to my knowledge I have no STDs and I get tested fairly often, soooo...) What I DO have is warts. It started with one, on my food, but it was small so I figured I'd just leave it. It's been there since high school. Harmless. Small. It's still small.

Last year, there was another one. Still small. Then one on my other foot.

Then I did something stupid and left an open wound unattended on my foot. And guess what! I now have nine of them, one is the size of a fucking quarter.

I attempted to leave it (stupid, I know) as they began to crawl down my foot toward my heel. Finally I'm like "Fuck it." I decide to try curing it myself. My dad gets me some Compound W wart remover. "Yay!" I think. "The bottle says it may take twelve weeks, but it's painless and so we'll try it!"

Painless!? Painless!? What the fuck, Compound W! The shit works by killing your fucking skin! It burns!

I have a high pain tolerance, so I'll live, but dude... false advertising!

Now I have nine little opaque-white blotches of dead skin, with warts inside of them. Great. Just fucking great.

On the bright side, dead skin can't feel pain. Sigh.